Who did it to whom?
Jan 29th, 2009 | By John Roach | Category: GrammarDeciding when to use whom over who is an issue that’s been needlessly plaguing writers ever since the MTV made people forget good grammar, or so I’m told.
Here’s the rule: Who is a subject; it does things. Whom is an object; things are done to it.
Who took the cookie from the cookie jar and gave it to whom?
When the pronoun in question appears to be both object and subject, use who.
Give it to who asked for it.
Here’s the truth: No one cares. Both Daily Writing Tips and John McIntyre say whom is on the way out, and I concur. If it’s immediately apparent that whom is the correct choice, go for it. Otherwise, slap a who in there and move on.
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This article was written by John Roach http://prowritingtips.com John is a writer and copy editor. You can follow him on twitter at @johnwroachiii. To see more posts click here |
You’re right, ‘whom’ is on the way out. It is still useful, though, and perhaps your approach (use it if it’s the obvious choice) is a reasonable one. I’m not quite ready to leave it out, though, having learned the rules fairly well, myself.
While I’m writing—my favorite Americanism is “you bet.” That one used to give a Korean professor of mine fits.
Hey Rogers, nice to meet you.
Since we’re not vehemently disagreeing, perhaps you can tell me what you mean by “useful.”
I don’t think “whom” is useful at all: it provides no unique information. Even if you blatantly used “who” where a “whom” should go, it would confuse no one.
I think it’s just a nicety. I know the rules, I apply them correctly, but I resent them. This is one of the few cases where I think proper grammar can take a flying leap.
“Stop looking at I.” Sure, that sound strange. Only someone just learning the language might say this, but we certainly understand what that means. “Me” here provides no unique information, just like your argument to drop “whom.”
Or how about plurals?
One car
Two cars
How about just “two car”? (This is how my native language works. The plural is apparent with the modifier.)
The big reason why “whom” is misused, I think, is because it sounds and looks so much like the subject case “who.” If it is phased out because of this, so be it, but as demonstrated above, many English grammar rules provide no unique information.
Thinh, the similarity argument certainly holds weight, but let me toss another idea your way.
I think the two are confused because “whom,” an object, is often placed before a subject. Consider the rephrasing of a sentence I edited yesterday:
“Thinh, who I respect, took issue with my views.”
In the clause “who I respect,” the first word is the object. The correct word is “whom.” (I changed it as such.)
I can’t think of a common formation where we would do the same thing with other pronouns.
But then we’ve got this gotcha:
“Who should I say is calling?”
Here, “who” is correct, because it’s the subject of the clause “(who) is calling.”
Then we’ve got the bigger issue: Most people will accept a preposition at the end of a sentence, like so:
“Who are you going to the party with?”
But the pronoun, again the first word, is the object of the preposition “with.” Chomsky’s deep meaning of the sentence would be “You are going to the party with whom?” Yet I’ve never heard anyone say “Whom are you going to the party with?” and would, in fact, change it back to “who,” breaking a rule I know by heart.
So, just like rocking a rhyme, the who/whom rule is tricky.
As to the rest of your comment, I think that rules that provide no unique information and are obtuse will fall away in the future. I don’t advocate their abolition, merely observe.
I’ve always taught writers to choose “who” if they can’t figure out whether to use “who” or “whom.” They have a 50-50 chance of being right. If they choose “whom” and are wrong, they look both grammatically challenged and pompous. Case in point:
http://terriblywrite.wordpress.com/2009/01/21/whoever-wrote-this-was-wrong/
Laura, that’s generally a good call.
It also reminds me to give my rule of thumb: If you can replace it with “he,” use “who”; if it needs “him,” it’s “whom.”
Sorry, ladies, “her” doesn’t end with an -m, so it just doesn’t work without being sexist.